swearing

OK so you have a little potty mouth on your hands. Now your embarrassed, how do you make him stop!Just about every child repeats something that you wish they didn't but for a child to know how and when to use it they have heard it more then once.let face it they didn't learn it at daycare, they didn't walk into a grown up movie and pick it up, it wasn't from a brief encounter at the store, if you child swears then they most likely learned it from you, or someone they spend a lot of time with. I don't think it's really fair to tell a child its okay for grown ups but not kids,weather you like it or not you took on the ultimate job as #1 role model so it is now do as I do, not just as I say.What I'm trying to get at is you have to stop the swearing around your little ones in order for them to stop swearing. Also don't draw too much attention to it when they do, just say something like "nice words only" and drop it. Eventually it will stop because it got no attention and he/she is no longer hearing it.

pacifiers

Let me start by saying, I'm all for pacifiers, I think they are important for infants, to sooth them and let them develop their sucking skills. I had my first child when I was 19, like a lot of new parents, I relied on my pediatrician for the answers. He told me 9 months old is a good time to take the pacifier away, and it has stuck with me ever since, simply because it works! Once your child learns how to ask for it by name, it is going to be a lot harder taking it away. Really it only takes 1 to 2 nights at that age to break them of the habit, which is way better then all the germs that they collect as then go through their toddler years dropping them, and sharing binky's with their friends.
But if you haven't taking it away yet and you are ready to, here is my advice, you are the parent, if you want to take the binky away then do it. Quite frankly if your child is 2 or 3, they have it's because it helps you not them. Its a good way to plug them up, but let me tell you something, they look ridiculous when they have to take the swollen binky out of their mouth to ask you something. Sorry,I'm just saying what everyone else was thinking.I don't believe in the Binky Fairy, or giving it to Santa etc. I think you have to "man up", and go "cold turkey". " Binkys are for babies, now that you are such a big kid, we are going to throw all you pacifier in the trash" " if you do a great job with out crying, we'll do some special big kid stuff" You might have a couple tough nights but positive reinforcement will work, and then its done! over with! you did it! , No cheating, get rid of them all, you can put up with a couple rough nights, you are Super Mom after all, right?

Tantrums

Somewhere along the line your child learned to get what they want by throwing a tantrum, now you're paying for it. It's time for some tough love, before you start locking yourself in the bathroom or begging to go to the grocery store just to get a break. It's as simple as this, Don't give them what they want when they are screaming for it.When they throw a tantrum do not offer them something else or bribe them to stop.You will hear me say with everything, consistency is the key!!!! For any unwanted behavior you have to put a lot of effort into getting the behavior to stop, and every single time it occurs you have to follow through, it can be really exhausting, but will work a lot faster this way, what might only take a week could take months if you are not consistent.When the tantrum starts you need to say something like this " I'll talk to you about this when you are ready to talk like a big girl/ boy" then walk away and give them no more attention until the crying stops. Of course if they are hurting themselves or others they will need to be placed somewhere away from anyone or anything dangerous or throw-able. When they have settled down to a more manageable roar you can reason with them. If they are old enough you can explain that when they cry or throw a tantrum they will not get what they want. If they are younger, its over, a hug, and thats it, but never ever give them what they wanted in the first place.If a tantrum happens in a store, then leave, no need to cause a seen. Prepare yourself before you go out to prevent them from happening, make sure your child is not hungry, tired, or sick. Bring with you, bottles, sippy cups, snacks, and small toys to keep them busy when they have to wait. Remember no one likes a spoiled brat, so giving your child everything they want whenever they want it may seem like your just keeping the peace, but in fact you're creating a monster and it will catch up with you. You are not being a mean Mommy, you are being a good Mommy, who is teaching her child an important life lesson, you can't always get what you want.

Biting

Ugh!!!!!! biting has to be the worst toddler behavior ever. Parents of the child who was bitten can get pretty darn mad, and parents of the bitter can get so discouraged, not to mention daycare providers. It can be a very stressful situation. Notice how only the adults were mentioned, the kids are usually pretty forgiving. It is not a life altering experience so lets all just calm down and try to get through this.

Biting is a pretty common behavior for a toddler, reason being that they cannot verbalize very well yet, and they are easily frustrated. Children usually grow out of this stage before their third birthday, when they have learned to talk pretty well, and have developed self control. Of course this brings me to my next point, children will learn better self control if their care givers have it. Please for the love of Pete, DO NOT BITE THEM BACK!!!!!!, this only teaches them that the way to handle a problem is through aggression, and really?, does it make any sense at all? NO BITING, as your chomping down on them. Lets access the situation here, when does the biting occur? is it only at daycare? is it towards you, or a sibling?or do you have a biting machine? Most of the time day care is the most popular spot for biting to start, that is simply because if your child is in a room with a group of children the same age there is going to be a lot of frustration between them because its hard for them to communicate with each other. This doesn't mean that you have chosen the wrong day care or you need to pull them out. It just means you need to be aware that most likely at some point either your child will bite or will be bit. Believe it or not child Care teachers prevent 9 out of 10 bites. If you child has a real problem with biting, meaning it is everyday, sometimes a few times a day, you may want to consider either shortening their hours or finding a daycare that has mixed age groups, and a smaller Teacher/ Child ratio. If your child is bit by another child, do not overact, the way you handle an injury has alot to do with the way the your child reacts to an injury. If your child trips, and you overreact then your going to have a child that overreacts, and knows how to turn the waterworks on to get attention, which can become a nuisance to be perfectly blunt, nobody wants to deal with a cry baby.So instead if your child trips, you should just say" oh,oh, are you okay?" Alright, back to biting, lets not overreact if your child was bitten, chances are they have already forgotten about it, if you are just picking them up from daycare. But if it happens in front of you, pick them up, make sure you clean the bite area with antibacterial soap, and hold an ice pack on the area. The child that bit should be briefly and firmly scolded, if the are 15months or older a time out can be used. "NO BITING", do not carry on, we all know that strangely kids like all attention negative or positive, so you want the attention to be the hurt child and not the one who caused the hurt. If you child is the one who bit, same thing, even more importantly, give your attention to the other child. A very firm and brief NO!!! We do not bite!. Other parents are going to be upset with you so you need to be sympathetic and honest that your having a tough time with this and are really sorry. Most importantly you need to be consistent, that's the key with any decipline and believe me this can be very exhausting, but every, EVERY time that he/ she bites you need to address it. And don't be a slacker, do not leave your child at daycare when you do not need to while they are going through the biting stage, and try to make arrangements to have them picked up early or take a few days off. Hopefully this helps but if I forgot something or you have any questions please let me know.

welcome

welcome,

my name is Diane Carey, mother of 4 and daycare provider. Over the last 19 years I have cared for hundreds of children, potty training, biting, teething, tantrums, swearing, picky eaters, I have dealt with it all. Your Doctor may have the education, your Mom may have the wisdom, but you cannot deny that I have the experience, complete, in your face, hands on, down and dirty experience. if you need some tricks of the trade, true, proven to work advice, look no further.